i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
