Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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