I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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