Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
