I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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