Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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