I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
