That's intense
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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