Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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