Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
