I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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