u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
