I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
