My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
