epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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