So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
