That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Terrible idea I love it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
