dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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