Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
