He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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