is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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