it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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