i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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