it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize