Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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