Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
