I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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