Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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