If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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