You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
