Screwed.edu
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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