The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
