3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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