Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
