You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
