On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
