my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
