there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
