thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
