I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
