escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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