It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
