I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
