I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
