Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
