after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
