dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
