it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
