Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
