She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
