She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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